I’m sure I’ve touched on this topic a few times, but here lately – I’ve noticed a few trends. Two things I want to touch base on – growth mindsets and victim mindsets.

A growth mindset is usually characterized by an individual seeing their past trauma or past experiences, and realizes they can move forward from it because they’re in control. It’s understanding that no matter how hard you try to revisit the source of the pain, nothing will change the fact that it happened. You learn to accept the experience as a part of your life. You may still acknowledge the pain, but you don’t continuously torture yourself for answers. Some answers may never appear, because the source of the trauma may never come to that realization themselves.

A victim mindset is generally characterized by an individual who uses their trauma for constant sympathy (or pity) from others. They will consistently bring their trauma up and crave the attention because it makes them feel heard and loved, and not isolated. While a victim mindset is in no way less than someone with a growth mindset, a victim mindset can be toxic. It can leave toxic footprints (sometimes unknowingly) on loved ones around them.

Sometimes, a mindset is a choice. It’s not a choice that can be made easily sometimes, but it can be if you have the support.

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